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EVER WONDER WHY THERE ARE NO DEMOCRATS ON MOUNT RUSHMORE YEAH ME NEITHER

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WHY I'M SINGLE

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When God Made Me He Grinned and Said

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I Went To The Paint Store

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I'm always forced to do stuff I'm not qualified for

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I'm No Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick

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I Get Most Of My Exercise

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I Wish I Met Some People Earlier Some Later

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Why age gracefully when you can age like an old cheese full of character and slightly offensive

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YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE THING INSIDE YOUR HEAD THAT KEEPS YOU FROM SAYING THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T

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I HATE IT WHEN THE VOICES IN MY HEAD GO SILENT

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Don't confuse my PERSONALITY with my ATTITUDE

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